Village community lifestyle a tonic for loneliness

For St Kilda retirement village resident Elaine, the death of her beloved husband was the trigger for feelings of loneliness she had never expected.

“We married when I was 40 and our relationship was very strong, but I had been alone and happy before and I thought that would be what I would return to,” she said.

“But that wasn’t the case because of that extreme feeling of loss and desolation.

“Loneliness feels like a sense of despair – one loses hope and it’s hard to reach out.”

Elaine and fellow Bolton Clarke Europa on Alma resident Denise, 85, say community has played a vital role in helping them regain connection after life transitions.

For Denise the move from her home at Inverloch was a trigger.

“It’s like a sadness – it’s feeling a little bit scared and unsure of oneself.

“I had felt it previously when I’d lost my husband – I didn’t want anyone to know I was lonely because I didn’t want to be a burden on other people. When I went out I felt like everybody had their own partner except me – it’s a very foolish way to think.

“I found keeping my connections was important.

“But moving to a retirement village was one of the best decisions I have ever made – you just pop downstairs and you don’t have to be involved with people, but somehow there’s always someone there.”

Elaine says she followed friends into the Europa on Alma vertical village and hasn’t looked back.

“Loneliness is not something I experience now and that is because of my experience at Europa – community is important and the way I have experienced it since coming here has been amazing for me.”

New research reveals 1 in 3 Australians from all walks of life feel lonely, and 1 in 4 experience persistent loneliness. For people over 65 about 46 per cent report feeling lonely sometimes.

Significant life changes and circumstances such as relationship breakdown, losing a loved one, becoming a parent, financial hardship and health conditions are often risk factors for persistent loneliness.

Bolton Clarke Head of Research Professor Judy Lowthian said while everybody experiences transitions during their lives, they tend to increase and have a greater impact as we get older.

“Transitions can be expected, for example retiring or becoming a grandparent, or unexpected such as reduced physical or cognitive ability due to illness, or an accident,” Professor Lowthian said.

“All these changes can affect how people see themselves, their relationships and their sense of belonging.”

This week (5-11 August) is Loneliness Awareness Week. Find out more about tackling loneliness at www.lonelinessawarenessweek.com.au.

Hear Elaine share her experience here. 

Hear Denise share her experience here.